Job interview

"Both should find out if it's a good fit"

"If I had to name two of my strengths and weaknesses in a job interview, I would say: 'I'm open and communicative, sometimes impatient, and as a practitioner, I'm less interested in meticulous conceptual work' But I find this question outdated. To find out something about their personality, I prefer to ask applicants: 'How would your friends describe you? I advocate being authentic in the interview. After all, both sides should find out whether they are a good fit in terms of content and personality. And be courageous! Very important: if you are asked about your family planning without permission, criticize this and exercise your right to remain silent."

Breaking up

"Saying ‘I'm breaking up with you’ isn't so difficult because of the words themselves. Rather, it's the shock we cause our partner with this decision. Break-ups often trigger strong emotions, as intimate relationships are at the core of our emotional experience.

"Refrain from blaming each other"

Pain and sadness cannot be avoided during a break-up, neither for the other person nor for ourselves. Nevertheless, couples can also treat each other with respect and appreciation when saying goodbye. For example, by both sharing how they are feeling during this process and refraining from blaming each other. I have definitely seen couples mutually decide to separate during psychotherapy. However, this certainly depends on how the relationship worked beforehand and the reasons for the separation.

Afterwards, the ex-partners should probably hold back with messages of consolation in order to avoid ambiguous messages. However, leaving someone suddenly, silently and without a word, as is the case with ghosting, makes it more difficult for the person being left to come to terms with the situation. They remain in the dark and experience a deep sense of insecurity."

Money worries

"Talking about money is a taboo in Switzerland. Especially for people in low-paid jobs and precarious living situations. Shame often plays a role because many feel they have failed individually, even though poverty and precarity are structural.

If you talk to people close to you about their money worries, you should resist the impulse to want to help them directly. Listen more than you talk and don't judge. The main thing is to understand the person's point of view and needs.

"Listen more than you talk"

Empathy and openness are also essential in qualitative research interviews. Telling others how exhausting it is to keep yourself or your family afloat with little money is very emotional for many people and can trigger sadness. At such times, it is important to take a break. When talking about sensitive topics, other means of expression than language, such as drawing or photography, can help.

We are increasingly working with focus groups in our studies on inequality and poverty. In these, the participants have a more active role than in individual discussions, for example by discussing their demands on politicians."

Discrimination 

"With interventions we name the injustice"

"Intervening against discrimination and harassment is not easy and requires courage. What helps: preparation, support and the awareness that one's own perception is justified. We take a stand, set boundaries and name the injustice.

How we can do this in practise depends on the context. While riding the tram, I once witnessed a woman being racially insulted. When no one intervened, I told the attacker to stop, that her behavior was not okay. From then on, other passengers helped.

At work or at university, we should also address inappropriate language and discriminatory behavior directly and, if possible, personally. I would ask the person about their motives and explain how their behavior comes across. If it happens again, managers or relevant departments such as the Office for Equal Opportunities should be consulted. "

End of life

"Dying and death affect us all. It's better to talk about the elephant in the room sooner rather than too late.

In the case of advanced illnesses, we often see that those affected and their relatives have discussed almost nothing in advance about the end of life. This causes stress. The most important questions include: What makes my life worth living? What physical and mental abilities do I still need to be capable of, at the very least, in order to consider my life worth living from today’s perspective? Which person would be most likely to speak on my behalf, thus, be my authorized representative, if I am no longer able to take part in medical decisions myself?

"It's better to talk about it sooner rather than too late."

Have such intimate conversations in private at first. If your parents react negatively to the question 'What will we do if ...' or to the topic of advance health planning in general, ask why. There are often various fears behind this: of suffering, life balance or total nothingness. This can be addressed. We provide patients and relatives with facts about the process of dying, for example, which is much more often characterized by fatigue than pain. You can also discuss with your relatives what memories a person would like to leave behind, perhaps in the form of a letter or a video.

What most people can also accept is the argument: 'With advance health planning, you are doing something for me and the next generation. "