“Ten times must you laugh during the day, and be cheerful; otherwise your stomach, the father of affliction, will disturb you in the night.” From a psychological perspective, you really have to agree with this recommendation from Nietzsche’s speeches of Zarathustra. The value of humor as a playful way of distancing oneself from the seriousness of life has always been the subject of many words of wisdom from a wide variety of cultures. 

Nevertheless, psychological research into humor has only taken place in the last three decades, although there had already been significant work done in the area before this. In his work “The Joke and its Relation to the Unconscious” (1905), Sigmund Freud regarded humor as a defense mechanism, making it possible to relieve psychological tension and conflicts in a pleasurable way. One hundred years later, George Vaillant, head of one of the most elaborate long-term studies on development in adulthood, concluded that humor is the most mature and elegant defense mechanism.

But what kind of humor is meant? And how does it develop over the course of life? Is humor a question of personality – or can it be learned?

Not all humor is the same

From everyday experience, we know that humor can delight us, but it can also hurt us. In fact, psychological literature distinguishes between positive, benevolent humor and negative, damaging humor as well as between self-referential humor and humor at someone else’s expense.

Self-referential humor, i.e. humor that focuses on one’s own person, can be self-evaluating or self-deprecating. Self-evaluating humor is consciously used to reduce stress and strengthen one’s own self-image. It does this by maintaining a cheerful view of a person’s own shortcomings and mishaps as well as the adversities of life. With self-deprecating humor, on the other hand, the self becomes the target of derision, so that others can make fun of you. This kind of humor can be a protective shield to preempt the ridicule of others and avoid being hurt by them. It comes as no surprise that this strategy is not effective in the long term.

Humor related to others can also be positive or negative. When it comes to making others laugh and having fun together, we speak of benevolent, unifying, affiliative humor. Negative, aggressive humor, on the other hand, is at the expense of others by means of sarcastic remarks, mocking imitations or derogatory jokes. Examples include sexist, racist or homophobic jokes. Fortunately, this kind of negative humor occurs far less than positive humor throughout life.

Positive humor is closely linked to mental health. Research results show that people do well if they have a sense of humor and know how to use humor positively. Humor is therefore a good coping strategy and essential for regulating well-being.

Humor changes over the course of life

A person’s sense of humor changes over the course of life, depending on their cognitive abilities, life experience and social context. Children as young as four to five years old understand humor. They laugh at clowns and have a special fondness for riddles, funny stories and rhymes. As they get older, children begin to understand more complex forms of humor, such as word games or jokes.

For adolescents and young adults, on the other hand, humor is a popular social tool for building friendships and being part of a group. This primarily involves affiliative humor, but increasingly also aggressive humor – for example, to tease others or socially isolate them.

Humor becomes more sophisticated in adulthood. And it depends more on the context. This phase of life comes with many social, family and professional obligations. This is why self-reinforcing humor plays a more important role as a means of coping with stress, while aggressive and self-deprecating humor decreases. Affiliative humor, on the other hand, increases as it helps to maintain harmonious relationships with other people. It is an extremely valuable social resource, especially in the case of stress.

Finally, old age is by no means humorless, as is often assumed. Affiliative humor does decrease, but self-enhancing humor dominates. It is no longer a question of positioning oneself well socially, but of maintaining a cheerful spirit – despite the increasing challenges that aging can bring. Humor, however, is not just a question of age.

A question of personality

The type of humor a person uses allows conclusions to be drawn about a person’s character. Negative humor is associated with neuroticism, a personality trait that, if highly pronounced, is characterized by a tendency to anxiety, irritability, insecurity and depression. In contrast, affiliative and self-enhancing humor is an expression of personality traits such as emotional stability, openness to new experiences and extroversion – which, if highly pronounced, corresponds to an outward-looking, sociable and enthusiastic character.

It is also important to have a good level of social intelligence in order to assess the situational appropriateness of humor. There are situations in which even the best of humor is out of place. However, interpreting when a situation is appropriate leaves a great deal of room for maneuver. This is where the minds are divided, even among experts, as I recently witnessed. When I said that humor can be useful in marital conflicts, a colleague said that marital problems are too serious to be approached with humor. He probably thought of humor as jokes and trivializing. Humorous remarks can certainly be used to diffuse difficult situations. “A happy marriage is one in which one partner is a bit blind and the other is a bit deaf” (Loriot).

Coping strategy in times of need

There are many examples of how humor – even negative humor such as sarcasm – can be an appropriate coping strategy in extreme life situations. For example, psychiatrist Viktor Frankl reports on his time as a concentration camp inmate, and how humor made life easier for prisoners. Humor was also part of his repertoire in his later work as a psychotherapist. Frankl was convinced that nothing allows patients to distance themselves from themselves as well as humor. Self-distancing is a proven therapeutic method in which a person views themselves from a different perspective, for example by addressing themselves in the third person. The method helps people to relieve stress and think more clearly.

Humor – a strength of character that can be developed

In positive psychology, humor is regarded as a strength of character, as the ability to deal with everyday life, social relationships and stressful life situations with ease. However, since character is considered to be quite stable in the long run, the question arises as to whether humor is fate: You have a sense of humor or you don’t. This is by no means the case: Character strengths are not only innate, but can also be learned, improved and trained throughout our lives. With success, as research shows. It has been empirically proven that positive psychology humor training has an impact on different levels: Stress is reduced, well-being is increased, communication is more competent and the immune system is stronger. These training courses comprise several levels with a fixed structure. Among other things, it is about discovering your own sense of humor, becoming more playful or improving your eloquence.

Humor interventions are now commonplace. Whether clowns in a children’s hospital or retirement home, or humor training for managers or employees – humor knows no age or class boundaries. So, given the many benefits of humor, it’s definitely worth laughing and being cheerful ten times a day!