“In Afghanistan, I had no idea what I wanted to study, but I was interested in theater education. All I knew was that I wanted a career working with people. I sometimes tutored fellow pupils at school. I was good at mathematics, and I also started studying Persian poetry and Greek philosophy. After 12 years of schooling in Afghanistan, you need to take a long exam to be able to continue studying. But I came to Switzerland before that at the age of 17.

I was concerned about safety in Afghanistan even from an early age. My childhood was shaped by the fact that someone in my family died because of a bomb. At a very early age I was asking myself how such things could happen. It became clearer and clearer to me as I grew up that I didn't have good future prospects in Afghanistan. When I was 14, I already knew that I would leave the country because I was irritated that I couldn't express my opinion. When I was 16, I travelled a lot in Afghanistan. I experienced a lot in that time that unsettled me. One time, I was stopped on a bus by the Taliban. They searched my bag, looked at all my things and asked what I was studying and what I did.

Dangerous escape

As I didn't have much money, I needed to flee without a passport or visa. That’s why I entrusted myself to smugglers who travelled part of the route with us by car or on foot. That was in 2015. My situation was very dangerous without documents. The first dangerous border crossing was between Afghanistan and Iran. The Iranian border police just shoot when they see people crossing the border. You have to hide well and make sure you don't get caught. Before crossing the border from Iran into Turkey, we were unable to eat for several days, and we slept in the mountains. We travelled from Turkey to Greece in a dinghy. It wasn’t immediately apparent, but I was lucky to be able to do all that. It is anything but normal. There were people travelling with me who drowned in the water or were shot while escaping.

Learned German online

I just wanted to get to Europe; I didn't have a particular country in mind. I found it difficult in Switzerland at the start as it was a bit of a culture shock. I didn't know the language, the culture or the social norms. I found the society to be quite closed and cold. At first, you have  almost no opportunity to integrate or to learn certain things. Initially, I learned German online. I had positive experiences with volunteers who helped me. You stand out because you behave differently from other people. The staff in one shop sometimes suspected that we were stealing. I was confronted with so many new things at once that I couldn't categorize them all at first. Sometimes I asked myself simple questions like: “How do I go shopping in Coop?” When I learned something new, I showed the other people in the accommodation so that they wouldn't make the same mistakes that I had made.

"I was lucky to make it to Switzerland. It wasn't easy for me at the start. In the evenings in the accommodation, we spoke about our experiences and supported each other so that we could find our way around Swiss culture. Learning new things motivates me to start the day in a good mood. I think home is a feeling instead of a place.”

Eqbal Nabizada

Initially, I was at a school for refugees in the Canton of Aargau. They helped me find an apprenticeship. As I wanted to do something social, I was looking for something to do with caring for children. I eventually found an apprenticeship caring for people with disabilities. The training program lasted three years. I then found out about the university preparation program in a group chat. I thought: “I could give that a go.” I was actually sure that it wouldn't work, but it was worth trying.

Helping others

I phoned Ann-Seline and Solvej on the Compass team to find out about it. Then I started to get all my documents together and write my application. And it worked. I improved my German a lot with Compass UniBE. I helped others doing the course who were not so comfortable with German. It is a nice feeling to be able to help other people. Now I'm still gathering information about various degree programs. I've always been interested in social sciences, but let’s see. More and more doors are opening, and economics also sounds exciting.

I am always motivated by the idea of contributing to society. I like meeting new people and experiencing and learning new things. It helps me wake up feeling good. But sometimes everything is too much for me, and at those times everything is a huge challenge. When I manage to get the right help though, everything is better again. My goal is to complete a degree in Switzerland. Then I would like to start a family, work, and travel if possible. I would actually like to help other refugees come here.

Belonging

At the moment, I don't feel much connection to my homeland. I am only in contact with my parents. It is difficult to stay in touch with my friends because I can only reach them at a certain time. I probably couldn't go back even if I wanted to. If it is possible in the future, I'd love to visit my parents. I think that when you leave your home country, you lose your value somehow.

I have found that I feel at home in myself, because home is a feeling instead of a place. When I think about my parents and my childhood, Afghanistan is my home. When I look back at the last nine years, Switzerland is my home. I have made friends here, I am an open person and I socialize with others, no matter where they come from. In Afghanistan, I never really had the feeling that I belonged. I belonged to the Hazara, which is a minority there. That's why I've always had to grapple with the meaning of home.”